UPA (Utanian Press Agency)
Release: August 31, 300 AP.
Advertisements from the Utanian Burovian Movement
The Utanian Burovian Movement have this week been flooding the TV screens of Luka and
other Lasanne voters with two advertisements emphasising that the UBM are the "true party of
conservatism", not the Conservative Party. The advertising blitz has been concentrated in the
Luka-based electorates, Waitaki and Aviemore in the north, Hamilton, Charleston and Gyum'th.
The screen shows a toddler playing with toy soldiers on the living room floor of a
typical middle-class Lasanne family home. He's making the requisite explosion sounds while he
knocks over some soldiers.
"The Utanian Burovian Movement is committed to conservative values. We believe in
individual pursuit and achievement. We believe in commitment to business. We believe in the
community and its businesses, not the state. We believe in small government, small taxes and
small military spending. It seems, however, that not all conservatives are alike. Others like
to play with soldiers and bombs, and spend big dollars on tanks and warships and jet fighters
while the real needs of the country, of the people, of the health system, of the business
community, are neglected.
"We need serious leaders running this country... not children. When it comes time to
vote, remember the Utanian Burovian Movement is about Conservative values, and business, not
playing wargames. Business not bombs. What do you think President Hope believes in?
"Utanian Burovian Movement: Conservative values, but without the militarism."
>> Footage of armoured vehicles standing in the streets of I'ana island.
"The Utanian Burovian Movement's Naahi Bennett called the recent excursion into the
I'ana archipelago a 'wasteful expense of manpower, fuel and Presidential time'. Without a
doubt, the islands belong to Utania, but why couldn't a dozen diplomats sort it out instead
of six thousand soldiers and sailors?
"Is that Conservative thinking at work? It's wasteful thinking at work!"
"Is this minimising costs? No, it's an excuse for a large defence budget, a budget
coming from *your* pocket!"
>> Û symbols appear falling from the top of the screen.
"The UBM is committed to Conservative values, not wasting public monies on unnecessary
displays of military strength.
"Utanian Burovian Movement: We're about business, not bombs."
©UPA, 300 AP.
©Mike Ham, 2000. All rights reserved. No reproduction without, at least, tacit approval. ;-)