UPA (Utanian Press Agency)
Release: January 6, 301 AP.

Governor Hope learning Utani

Former caretaker-President, Governor Hope is learning Utani in a bid to seriously woo Utani voters in the forthcoming Presidential election.

Reknowned Utani teacher Mdm. Tokomu of the Luka School of Languages, a private institute she co-owns, has been visiting the Governor's residence in downtown Luka. Until recently no official comment was made, however, as the newspapers are printing the obvious or their version thereof, an official statement was made today about the Governor learning the Utani language, the second official language of the country.

"The Governor has been receiving post-preliminary education in the Utani language", said the Governor's spokesman in Ingallish, without a hint of irony. "He is learning this due to the significant number of constituents within the state who have Utani as their primary language." When asked whether the spokesman meant "significant number of national constituents", he replied without irony, that the Governor's focus was the people in his own state. Governor Hope effectively ran for the Presidency in September last year, but was defeated in the southern Utani-speaking state of Utani B'yan, some say, because he was an "Uta-Decashi" ("Utanian white man") who didn't know the language of the people.

Clearly the Governor will only improve his election chances early next year being able to communicate with poorer Utani in the two south-western states. He will consequently more likely survive the Conservative Party preselection with this skill, a race which is shaping up to be a major showdown between "Asherist" and "Durning-ist" factions, lead by Governor Hope and former Prime Minister Kemp respectively. Furthermore, the Cruistian-Democrats are close to signing a deal that would see them join forces with the Conservative Party, adding another faction, the "moralists", to the preselection race. The preselection races are due in the second half of the year.

A survey by the Utani-Saedaj Party indicates that as few as 86 of 140 MP's have an "acceptable level of fluency" in the Utani language.


©UPA, 301 AP.

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©Mike Ham, 2001. All rights reserved. No reproduction without, at least, tacit approval. ;-)