UPA (Utanian Press Agency)
Release: January 6, 301 AP.
Governor Hope learning Utani
Former caretaker-President, Governor Hope is learning Utani in a bid to seriously woo
Utani voters in the forthcoming Presidential election.
Reknowned Utani teacher Mdm. Tokomu of the Luka School of Languages, a private
institute she co-owns, has been visiting the Governor's residence in downtown Luka. Until
recently no official comment was made, however, as the newspapers are printing the obvious or
their version thereof, an official statement was made today about the Governor learning the
Utani language, the second official language of the country.
"The Governor has been receiving post-preliminary education in the Utani language",
said the Governor's spokesman in Ingallish, without a hint of irony. "He is learning this due
to the significant number of constituents within the state who have Utani as their primary
language." When asked whether the spokesman meant "significant number of national
constituents", he replied without irony, that the Governor's focus was the people in his own
state. Governor Hope effectively ran for the Presidency in September last year, but was
defeated in the southern Utani-speaking state of Utani B'yan, some say, because he was an
"Uta-Decashi" ("Utanian white man") who didn't know the language of the people.
Clearly the Governor will only improve his election chances early next year being able
to communicate with poorer Utani in the two south-western states. He will consequently more
likely survive the Conservative Party preselection with this skill, a race which is shaping up
to be a major showdown between "Asherist" and "Durning-ist" factions, lead by Governor Hope
and former Prime Minister Kemp respectively. Furthermore, the Cruistian-Democrats are close
to signing a deal that would see them join forces with the Conservative Party, adding another
faction, the "moralists", to the preselection race. The preselection races are due in the
second half of the year.
A survey by the Utani-Saedaj Party indicates that as few as 86 of 140 MP's have an
"acceptable level of fluency" in the Utani language.
©UPA, 301 AP.
©Mike Ham, 2001. All rights reserved. No reproduction without, at least, tacit approval. ;-)