Zeitgeist Magazine's Utania This Week
September 10th, 301 AP


The Lendosan Confederation's ruling BALANCE PARTY this week suggested it would apply to join the VEXILLIUM BANK, despite opposition from leftists. FENIZ is also believed to have made similar moves. Bank Chairman, Douglas Rand, issued a statement late in the week inviting ALL NATIONS to join the bank and "help liberate the poor of the world from their poverty".

Meanwhile, the bank admits it is "a little behind" in its Human Development Index (HDI) research. The Bank intends to issue each nation with a short questionaire that will allow the publication of an index of human development.

Personal approval rating for Utani B'yan's GOVERNOR ARTOS has taken a significant dive to 38%, and his PPP-USP coalition is flailing at 44%, meaning most Peoples or Utani Saedaj voters blame Artos for the recent corruption scandal. Artos took over from "squeaky-clean" President Okarvits, but has since lost three ministers from his own cabinet. The opposition Democrats have been licking their lips at the prospect of being in government after a nine- year absense at next year's election. So, this week, the Governor hit back, pledging to "stake my political career on the rooting out of every last fleck of corruption" from the state.


ROVENS has elected a new President, AMEA KOPE, former Military Minister, after the Pataki communists switched from their own candidate to Kope. Kope addresses the National Assembly on Monday, and has steadfastly avoided making any public statements.

It was DRACONIA who won the GOLD MEDAL in the football at the Vexgames, defeating Morania 1-0. Unfortunately, celebrations claimed thirteen lives, the thirteenth being the nation's leader about whom much has been rumoured about his health. The Director died from massive alcohol poisoning.

Meanwhile, by Tuesday, Utania was sitting on ten medals in total, in sixteenth place, including a Bronze medal for the Men's 800m race, in which Rovens scored a silver.

President Okarvits on May 1st bought 4 million tonnes of grain for AID EXPORT, enough to feed about 22 million people, but so far it appears only Dignania will benefit. Foreign Affairs is saying no other nations have requested the free food aid.


The Reserve Bank, despite warnings of inflation being a possibly problem for the country, reported that INFLATION WAS NEGATIVE during the first half of the year, that is, prices overall dropped more than they increased. This was primarily due to the disappearance of Utanian export markets, the stockpiling of agricultural produce and consequently the price for such produce dropping substantially. Cigarettes were half their year-ago-price. Chicken meat was selling for 40% the usual price. Still the Reserve Bank warns inflation will rise as the export markets kick in and agricultural reserves are sold off.

The "Trinian Empire" nee-Achenar's new Seneschal (traditional President) TARAER rebuked his Rovenian critic, Communist secretary for Foreign Relations Leena Kossipeu, earlier in the week. He said the Empire was democratic, allowing the communists to be re-elected, and pointed out that this was the manner by which the country became communist to begin with. Secretary Kossipeu gave a speech on Thursday denouncing "those who do not see the fundemental truths of humanity amidst capitalist lies", an apparent reference to the Seneschal. The request for the ICF to "deregister Achenar" was met with blank faces -- the organisation is open to any and all.

PRESIDENT OKARVITS is said to have mostly recovered from his injury last week. Details are sketchy, but a spokesman for the President's Doctor said that it was a back injury that "simply needed time to heal".

In the most shocking game of the season, bottom-placed team, the Shecker Diamonds, drew with league champions Luka Central 1-1 on Friday night. It astounded Luka's 44,000-strong viewing audience, but delighted the few thousand Shecker fans who watched their side enter and retain 'til the 49th minute an early lead. Then, Saturday night, Richmond v Utan Krysaror before 76,438 fans, and the UK scored early in the 15th minute. Richmond countered in the 44th, ending the half 1-1, but in the 63rd minute UK scored again, and kept Richmond at bay with a strong defence. Luka, Utan Krysaror and Richmond still dominate the top 3, Richmond a full three games ahead of 4th position Charleston. UFA executives are promising "significant changes" to even up the game next year. This season ends on October 10. Luka a game and a draw ahead of Utan Krysaror.

©Zeitgeist Magazine, 301 AP.

©Mike Ham, 2001. All rights reserved. No reproduction without, at least, tacit approval. ;-)